Where in the World do we Begin

When I receive a phone call from a potential client they are usually at the end of their rope.  They have no idea where to turn or who to turn to.  Life can sometimes, very unexpectantly, slap us in our face to get our attention.  This is usually the state of mind of the people calling for help.  They don’t know where to turn and they are in a panic.  Taking a deep breath and not letting fear control you is the first step.  Then sitting back and creating a plan is the next step.  When my kids come to me anxiety stricken with a large project or problem I first sit them down and listen carefully.  Then I explain to them that the anxiety they are experiencing is pure fear.  Fear that they can not accomplish what they need to accomplish or fear of the unknown.  This is why the first step should always be to draw your map and make a plan.  Once you see that plan you already feel the weight lifting because you have conquered one of the hardest parts, accepting that there is a problem; but more importantly, seeing a map of how to accomplish your ultimate goal, which in this case would be making sure that your loved one is taken care of and comfortable. Once you accept that there is a problem and draw that map or plan and you see it can be accomplished then breathing becomes a little easier.

“So, I hear you have a problem you can’t handle on your own.”  This is what my parents told me one day when I had a serious problem as a teenager.  At the time I felt helpless and that the weight of the world was coming down on me.  However, when these words were spoken to me  I knew I was no longer solo but, instead had a support group. I cried pure tears of joy because knowing I had a support system was significant. Now, it’s my turn to look at my aging parents and tell them, “I see you have a problem you can’t handle on your own.”  Let’s discuss how to conquer this giant problem, lay out our map, and get a support group.

Talking is the First Step

No better time than the present.  Waiting until an emergency situation is putting out a blazing fire, extremely chaotic, panick stricken and stressful.  Preventative planning is the name of the game.

  • Getting the convo started: Bring it up subtly.  So, you tell me you have been dizzy lately?
  • Don’t give up so easy: Some people just don’t want to admit they need help.  Don’t give up, rather, ask a sibling or a doctor or a friend to have a conversation with them.
  • Ugh, money, do we have to talk about it: Let’s face it, this is usually the driving force.  To know exactly what they can afford and what kind of insurance they have is very important.
  • Respecting your loved ones:  Your loved one has taken care of themselves for many years at this point.  Thinking you will walk in and tell them how everything will go down is a big mistake.  Every human has a basic need for independence.  Learning to give them that independence yet taking control is a fine line that MUST be mastered.
  • Call in the troops: Once the conversation has been brought to light now is a good time to call in back up.  Bring in siblings, friends, senior resources, etc. to help in any way.

 

The Web of Care

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